The informal term 'tar baby' refers to: 'a difficult problem that is made worse by attempts to solve it'. Groups and couples often suffocate in an emotional 'tar baby'.
The 'Tar Baby Process' can transform this 'tar' into evolutionary gold.
The Tar-Baby is the second of the Uncle Remus stories published in 1881 by Joel Chandler Harris, and popularized in Song of the South, the 1946 Disney movie. Other versions of the story, however, have surfaced throughout the world, including Nigeria, Brazil, Corsica, Jamaica, India, and the Philippines. The folk-tale is about a decoy doll made of tar and turpentine used by the villainous Br'er Fox to entrap Br'er Rabbit. The more that Br'er Rabbit fights the Tar-Baby, the more entangled he becomes.
The catalytic transformational force of conscious awareness about what is really going on dissolves the tar.
The more you try to explain or escape from the problem, the more you seem to get stuck in it.
You are about to give up hope.
The Tar is 'Emotional Charge', unexpressed emotions being denied.
We will us 5 Body Scanning to discover what is really going on, both within individuals, and between individuals. We will also scan for confusions in the Gameworld, in terms of unclear Purpose or Mixed Contexts.
How To Do The Tar Baby Process
Arrange for a Space, a Spaceholder, a Circle of Chairs (not sitting on the floor), and a Documenter To Make Notes.
Also have at hand boxes of tissues, a few hand towels (Rage Cloths), a few plastic barf buckets.
Before delivering the Tar Baby Process, be sure that the agreement is to be standing in a Context of Radical Responsibility, 3 Phase Healing, and the Bright Principle of Transformation. If these elements are missing from the relationship or from the Gameworld, you are in unstable ground and will likely be attacked by uninitiated Gremlins and banished from the Space. The Tar Baby Process removes large sources of Gremlin Food, and the uninitiated Gremlins might oppose this.
Spaceholder keeps their Archetypal Sword Of Clarity to hand (sharp at both ends) and keeps it pointed at each person's neck.
The Distinctions about Gremlin should be landed in the Space at the start of the Tar Baby Process.
Ask each person to Scan themselves for emotional charge and explains what they feel angry, sad, glad, or scared about and why.
BE SCANNED BY THE SPACEHOLDER
Next the Spaceholder 5 Body Scans each person in the group for Emotional Charge and inquires about what is going on there, making a safe place for each person to feel and express their emotions.
SCAN EACH OTHER
Next have the members Scan each other for Emotional Charge that is blocking them from being with each other.
In each case, identify the emotion and the incident that happened at the moment it started.
Put it all on the table.
IDENTIFY THE 'EMOTIONAL TAR'
Choose one or two people in the group to explain to everyone what is going on for them.
What happened that covers over the connections with 'Emotional Tar'?
What is interfering with connections and keeping interactions to a superficial inauthentic level?
IDENTIFY 'EMOTIONAL TAR' GENERATING AGENTS
This can take a significant amount of time in the meeting because you are probably landing new Distinctions in the Space. People need to have the Matrix to hold and respect the Distinctions. This part of the Process needs to be done formally and it must be documented for all to see and consider on a Flip Chart board and in Beep! Books. Discovering each of these agents is the same as discoving a Doorway to an Emotional Healing Process for the people. Be sure they write it down and commit do doing the Emotional Healing Process. This is not a Low Drama Circus show. This is about growing up into Radical Responsibility.
Incomplete Emotional Healing Processes (EHP). NOTE: If an emotional Reactivity is still active, the Process is NOT complete. A complete Process As-Ises the Reactivity and it no longer exists. Processes have layers, just as human beings have Parts. It is worth it to through all the layers.